This part of my life is coming to an end.

I can feel the changes, they're creeping up so fast.

I'm not a little girl anymore.

Decisions must be made, and only I can make them.

No longer can I depend only on others to help me do what is right.

I have to do it myself. I'm about to be on my own.

Why is it then, that I'm not scared? Truthfully, I should be terrified right now. I mean, all that I've known for pretty much all of my life is about to change. I won't have the same routine, I won't do the same things, I won't even be living in the same house. I am totally a creature of habit; I get crabby when my routine is disturbed. So what the hell?

I should be freaking!

I don't get it. I need to figure out what is going inside my head. I'll let you know when I figure it out.

ADD moment - today is my ex's birthday. Eighteen years old. I kept thinking about his birthday last year. I mean, I went to house and had dinner with his family last year; it was all girlfriendy, and birthdayish and... I feel like I'm a different person now. I can't even really remember what I was thinking those days. Jarred has changed a lot too. In.. weird ways. I mean, it's his 18th and he doesn't want to go to the bar 'cause he wants to be all christian like and pure and all that jazz. Hah. Pure my ass. Whatever though man. It's his life, he can do what he wants with it. I am surprisingly okay with letting him go. He can do what he wants with his life; it no longer concerns me.

Wow. That feels good to write.

What a strange change in topic there.

So I attempted to draw a pin up girl today. I worked on it for about 2 hours and I couldn't get her face right. How does that happen? I could draw her whole body, her dress, and a table. But her silly little face just did not want to be drawn. Whatever. I will conquer her face; it'll happen.

Haha that sounded creepy. But it wasn't. I just want to draw her damn face.

Tomorrow is my last day of high school, ahhhh the excitement is consuming me. I have only 3 more diploma exams and then I'm done for good :D

But, alas, I must now to bed.

I'll write again soon.