Oops, it's been a while...

Sorry about taking so long to write again. Life has been quite busy lately, but I know that's no excuse! I need to write, even when I'm busy. I'll do better!

Alright, what have I been up to since I last wrote...
Oh, yes. I attended CSLC Lead the Stampede. It's the Canadian Student Leadership Conferene that is held each year, and this year it was in Olds, Alberta. I ended up going because I'm on my schools Student's Union, and I didn't go to ASLC (the alberta version) when the rest of the group did. It started last Tuesday and didn't end until the Saturday. This was.. September 22-26. Before I left, I was a bit worried.. this being my first year on Student's Union, and my first ever conference.. I was scared everyone was going to be preppy little goody goods. But when I got there, within the first probably 10 minutes I met some people who were really nice and seemed very.. real. Down to earth, kind, the whole bit. I was happy to find this and I realized that all of the people here were probably just like me. They probably all wanted to do something for the world, to make something of their life and make something good come out of their actions. It sounds so corny, but it's absolutely true. I loved it. Then we were put into our spirit groups, which was quite the experience.. our group was quite spirited to say the least. The tenacious tumbleweeds - I think the name says it all. Anyways, I clicked right away with a few people, so that was wonderful. Then the next day we had keynote speakers, workshops, everything.. It was just absolutely amazing. To learn that there are so many other people out there who think just like me, and want to do something to help! I just couldn't even believe it. I know that I keep saying this, but it's just how i feel. I loved feeling like I wasn't the only one, that there actually are other people out there that feel the same way. Anyways.. yes. It was a fantastic experience. I'll write more ion the speakers and everything later, I just want to touch on some other points here tonight :)

The day that I left for CSLC I got my French 30 information in the mail. Oh man, what a crazy course.. I was looking through the package the other day, with all the textbooks and workbooks and pages of stuff I have to do.. Haha I think it'll take a while for me to complete this course :P But that's alright. I'm excited to get my 30 level in a second language! It'll be quite the accomplishment. Hopefully I do quite well.

Oh, that brings me to the next thing I wanted to write about! This Friday in drama class a lady came in from U of A. She gave us a lot of good information, and I really learned a lot through her presentation. She mostly talked about drama, and getting your Bachelor of Arts of Bachelor of Fine Arts in Drama, but she had some other interesting things to say as well. Such as, the grade average last year for people entereing to get a Bachelor of Arts was only 75%, and they then lowered that to 70% because they had more room. That is just fantastic news for me. I plan on getting good grades this year, and hopefully getting an average of high 70's or low 80's, but this is just such a relief.. As long as all the people applying this year aren't extremely smart, then I should be in for sure! So yay :) It's rather exciting. At the same time though, I don't want to get too excited just in case I end up not getting in.. I think that'd be pretty terrible. So I won't think of it as a sure thing just yet!

On Monday I totally got a new car! I can't believe that I forgot to say this, oh my goodness! My Aunt's fiance's mother bought a new car and was going to give away her old one, so I got it! It's a 1990 Acura Integra. It's not the greatest thing, but I absolutely love it! It's so much better than my old car, you have no idea. It has a stereo, it has cruise, power windows, all that jazz! Oh and also AC :) So it's pretty much 18471389057105 times better than my Tempo. It's also mujch more attractive, so that's awesome. I'm just so glad about it! It needs an expensive part, but the way that I see it, as soon as that part is in it'll be ready to go, and that could be done right away, within the next couple of weeks, the next 2 weeks maybe? It's just soooo great. I've gone too long without transportation, it will be so nice to be able to get out of the house again every once in a while, without my parents having to drive everywhere.

Ahh, one more thing to talk about before I sign off. I am so, so, so excited for Halloween, it's almost a bit ridiculous. I've got 2 different costumes, I can't wait! The 29th of October is the dance at school, it's "the Night of the Livinf Dead". I came up with the name, no big deal haha. It's going to be so sweet. Holli and I got decorations last week, so it's going to be awesome decorating and putting everything up :) So for the dance I'm going to be a dead cheerleader haha woot woot! I'm thinking of getting a bloody knife to stick out of my chest, I think that'd be fantastic! Then for actual halloween (which I got off of work, unlike last year!) I'm going to be a dark fairy.. I have huge black wings and I'm going to do crazy makeup and all that. It's going to be amazing. I can't freaking wait! Holli and I and all of our crew are gouing to party it up, since halloween is on a saturday. It'll be great. The only bad thing is that I think I have to work the next day, cause I'm pretty sure that's my weekend to work.. But oh well! It's totally worth it haha I don't even really mind.

Okay, well I've been writing for ages, so I think I will go now. Ta ta! I'll write again soon, no worries.

music is my boyfriend, musiccccc is my girlfriend.

YO. I am addicted to listening to the same songs over and over and over again. Holy moly, I don't know how I live with it haha. You know what I love about songs? They totally bring back memories. I sometimes listen to a song that I haven't heard in a really long time and all that I can think about is who I was with/what I was doing the last time I listened to the song. It's SUPER intense. Well, I think so anyways. Um.. oh yes, the reason that I brought this up! It's cause last night Jarred and I picked another song to be "our song". Cheesy, but who cares? I like it. Our songs are I will follow you into the dark by Death Cab and I want to hold your hand by the Beatles. It's freakin' epic. Soooo, yeahh haha. Be jealous of me. :)

Hmm, this weekend I went to a party with some friends, and it was super crazy. Holli was DD and she drove a bunch of drunkies home (and I came with her because I'm a wonderful friend!). Anywho, these people were absolutely hammered. And or high. It was just ridiculous. These were the people who are CONSTANLY absolutely plastered, and yet they are the "cool kids". It makes me so mad! These kids had no idea which way was up.. they were going to a new party at 2 in the morning, and they obviously had no intention of going home anytime soon. People like that.. I don't see positive futures for them. The kids that skip school every single day, come to school high as a kite.. UGH! I just get so mad because they're messing up their futures and it seems as though they don't give a crap about it! Grr. It was just a very big eye-opener for me because I've never really seen people like that before.. I mean I have. But this just reinforced it for me I think.

ANYWAYS. Enough of that.

Today I had dinner at le boyfriends house.. haha that was fun times. I love his family. They're so similar to my family in some ways, but in other ways they are just completely different. I really like talking to them, just for a kind of.. different point of view I guess? Like today we had this big argument about chick flicks. Jarred and his Dad were totally against them, and all of us girls were totally for them. It was just so fun to get into a debate with them! It sounds to corny, but it's actually true haha.. I love being a part of his family, of being included in his day to day conversations. It's silly, but that's alright :)

Ack. I want to keep writing but I really need to go to bed. So I'll write again soon, don't worry!

PS. Things to write about soon :

• overview of my 19 day canoe trip
• night of the living dead! and other SU events
• my mother and how she is NEVER home :(
• stupid school dress code, and how it's freaking 30 degrees out these days!
• and some other stuff that I can't think of now :)

Ta ta for now!

Naps are my new best friend

The last couple days I have been napping every day when I get home from school 'cause I'm just wiped out. It's weird. And I can't decide if I like it haha. But life goes on.

Anywho, big fight with le boyfriend last night. Woot woot. I'm so mean when I'm mad. But it's all good, 'cause we talked everything out and now we're all fine and dandy! So, no harm done. And I've heard that when people don't argue then their relationship is flawed! So clearly, ours is fine haha.

Ooh. So today was the first unit exam in Math 30 Pure. Freakin' scary mang. It's kinda hard, but that's okay because this is potentially the LAST TIME that I'll take a math course, ever! Oh wow, that is so so so exciting. I've gotta do good in this though haha or else I won't get into my school :( and that would be 100% tragic.

I'm totally rambling about crazy random things. It's fantastic. Hmm. Oh I know what I should talk about.

This weekend I'm going to my friend Amanda's place for a little gathering. It's going to be amazing. Except some of my friends are kind of starting to piss me off. I mean, really, you're going to ditch all your friends to go to a party where there are going to be a bunch of drunk people everywhere just so that you can hook up with girls? That's just ridiculous. It bugs me so much when people are like that. So they must smarten up or I'll be forced to beat them. :) ANYWAYS, other than those shennanigans it's gonna be all good. I'm stoked to chill with my peeps haha. It's gonna be good times.

Alright well I'm not in the mood to write any more. So I'm going to sign off. Oh, and I'll write about my Wilderness trip later. I just don't have the stamina for that much writing right now :P So later alligators!

I can't believe I forgot to write about this..

In August, I went on a 19 day canoe trip. What an experience. Anyways, I won't write about it now. This will just act as a reminder for myself to write about it the next time I'm on here. So, look forward, phantom readers!

Musings on a scintillating day.

Today I had to get up at 5:30 in the morning for a Student's Union event. Great. The best part is that when I get there, the teacher supervisor yells and shouts about how I have to get moving. Like, really? I'm pretty sure that i showed an immense amount of dedication by showing up on time even though i live 1\2 an hour out of time. UGH!

But, not going to let it bring me down. I am confident, competent, and successful. So hah.

My parents and family members have been telling me that I should start writing articles and submit them to my almost-auntie, who is the owner of a local magazine. It would be monumentally freakin' amazing to be published, but, I'm kinda scared to do it. I don't even know why, but I totally am. I think that I'm just going to try and bite the bullet though. If I write a couple of articles and give them to Kim then maybe she'll publish them. If not, it's no hair off my back. Skin off my back? I don't remember how it's supposed to go. BUT, you get the gist. :)

So, this weekend is Jarred and my (grammar? ah who knows.) ONE YEAR ANNI. Yeah, I know. I can't freakin' believe it either. The weirdest part about it is knowing that in another year, I will (HOPEFULLY!) be off at U of A, starting a completely different life. It's just so... odd, you know? I mean, how many people really stay with their high school boyfriend in university? I think it'd be so hard to start over like I want to if I was still with him. But at the same time, I have no intention of losing contact with my best friends.. So what's my deal? Maybe I'm just scared 'cause a year is such a long time. I really don't know.

HAH. I love looking at facebook pictures and seeing people looking like demon babies. It really brightens up my day, 'cause if you can put pictures like that on the internet, where anyone can see it, you've gotta be pretty damn confident in yourself. And confidence is amazing :)

Alright. Oh, I was going to end my entry there, but I just realized I forgot to talk about my drama class! Well. My drama class is crazy. It's full of... unusuals, lets put it that way. The people who shower only occasionally, put deoderant on even more rarely, and don't really understand social cues. It's great. I love being in a class with so many of them because, as horrible as it sounds... I don't care about impressing them. No matter what I do, they will not care, because they do things a trillion times weirder. I'm sure some people would hate the class, 'cause there are a lot of people who aren't "cool", but I absolutely love it. It does help that I love drama class :) but that's alright haha. OH, and I'm also making new friends in the class. And my bestttters Holli is in it, so it's fantastic. Anyways, to sum up : drama class owns.

OKAY. I think that's enough writing now :) So, peace outt! I will write again soon.

PS. Did you notice that I didn't take a whole month to write again?! Yay, progress.

I am brutal at this blog thing..

When I started this blog, I was totally comitted, and I was going to write every day, or at least a couple times a week. Hah. So much for that, only 4 posts in, what... 5 months? Maybe more? But, that's alright.
I will do better this year!
Sooo much has happened since I last wrote here. First of all, I'm not even friends with a bunch of the people that I was ranting about in my last post. Funny how summer does that.
Honestly though, I don't een want to think about all that drama of the past. It's done with, and I'm so over dealing with it! Instead I'm going to concentrate on keeping my current friendships going, getting fantastic grades so that I can get into U of A and just being happy. I think that's what really needs to happen this year.

Oh! I also really want to work on my writing. And what better way to work on writing than to actually write? I think this blog will help this goal out rather nicely.
So, I'm just going to write my feelings down here, and possibly to-do lists and whatever else I feel like writing. I think it'll be quite fantastic.
Today I finished reading The Time Travellers Wife. Good god. I had no idea how sad it would be at the end. I absolutely loved the book, but jesus! I haven't cried that much beacuse of a book in AGES. Anyways, I would reccommend the book, it's so good. I would really like to see the movie now, but I think it'd be rather sad. Well, obviously, since the book is. But I just think that when you see real live people living horrible things out like that, it seems much worse than when you're reading it in a book. Maybe I'm just crazy.

So next Saturday my boyfriend and I will have been dating for a year. A WHOLE YEAR. I can't even believe it. It's so surreal, I can't even get it through my head. But yeah, it's pretty intense, I think. For high school anyway haha. I suppose out in the real world, a year is pretty much nothing.

Speaking of the real world... I am so unbelievably psyched to get out of silly little Innisfail and go live my life! I was stressing out all summer, thinking that my grades wouldn't be good enough to get into U of A, but I'm feeling a lot better about it now. Even with my crap grades last year, I still managed to get Honors and I also got the English 20 award. SO, that's good stuff! Especially since I want to get into an english program. Anywho, it's just quite a relief that last year didn't totally mess up my school stuff, cause I totally thought it had. I am just SO excited to go to U of A, and I totally don't want to have to go to RDC for a year first... it just seems like such a waste of time and money, especially considering that I wouldn't even be able to transfer any of the credits I got.

But, yeah. I'm just in a good place with life right now :) hopefully it stays that way for a while. I think I'm done for now, but I WILL remember to update again very soon. Don't worry.
Buh-byeee!

So tomorrow is the beginning of May long. I am so ridiculously excited, it's almost unhealthy. I can't freakin' wait to just get away and have fun for a bit, and not have to worry about any lame stuff like school or UGH, my friends.

Holli, also known as H, is coming with me. It's pretty hilarious 'cause the rest of our friends are all going in this co-ed, one tent, lets get drunk everynight camping trip. And surprisingly, I'm not even jealous of it. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that there is NO WAY that I could stand being with some of those people for 2 or 3 days. It jsut wouldn't work. I'd probably bust an artery or something by being too pissed off. Haha stuff like this just really makes me think.

I consider myself to be a pretty cool person. I mean, I know I can be annoying and all that jazz, but I feel like I'm a pretty alright person. But whenever I'm with some of these people, I can just feel my self-esteem going down. Honestly though, I've kinda always had that problem.
I always make friends with people who are more popular than me, or people who might say they're my friends, but they really just need people to be around them all the time.

Not this time though. I think I've hung around with people who make me feel like crap for long enough. You know that feeling when people are talking about inside jokes, just laughing away, and they never bother to explain what's so funny? And when you ask they never tell you anyways? Well, that's pretty much been usual for me. It's not cool. And it is going to stop. Either I'm going to make some new friends, or people are going to realize that they can't walk all over me anymore.

You know, reading over all the things that I've written here, I kinda sound like I have a horrible life or something. But I really don't. I think I should probably take the time to explain that. I have some really cool friends that I can tell just about anything to. Well, I have two of those kinda friends. H, and Amanda, lets call her A. You see, these two I can pretty much trust with anything. I know that they both care for me, and they're just really great. Not to mention the fact that they can make me laugh even when I feel like strangling several people at once.

I also have an amazing boyfriend. He'll be known as J. J is quite the character. We've been dating for almost 8 months, which is pretty freakin' long in teenage years. He's really great. I can talk to him about just about everything. It's so wonderful to have him in my life.

Anyways, I'm done writing now. I'll continue with my life story later haha. Ciao!

It never really ends, does it?

Well, I've learned a lot of new things lately.

I've discovered that when you just don't want to talk to someone anymore, if you're just sick of their behaviour and need to get away from them... There is really no way. My former "best friend" is one of those people. I'm just done with dealing with her. No longer do I want to have to put up with all her issues, and get nothing in return.
It's so ridiculous though, 'cause as soon as I stopped talking to her (although it was a gradual process) she decided to latch onto some of our mutual friends.. but ones who she continually said bad things about when we were friends. She always went on and on about how they were bitches, and two-faced, and all that jazz, and now she's right next to them, being extremely two-faced and fake. I know that it really shouldn't bother me, but it does.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm drowning here. Like I need to get out of this town and start living my life. It's so frustrating to be stuck here, not able to change any of my problems because no matter what I do, people just turn it on me and make me feel like I'm the evil little coniving girl who has nothing better to do but hurt everyone. Ugh.

Lately I've been researching schools a lot. Well, one school. U of A. I want to go there, so so so much. I went on a tour there in.. April? The beginning of April I think. It was amazing there. It was so beautiful, and everyone seemed so happy to be there. We went to the Humanities wing or building or whatever it was, and it was just so nice. Everything was so open and welcoming. The people didn't stare, and there was such a large amount of people that clearly everyone wouldn't know everyone.

Oh man, just thinking about makes me anxious to go there. The thing is, I haven't really been doing that well in school lately. Well, in Bio. I just find it so difficult. It's so frustrating. It worries me 'cause i only have a month left of school, and then I'll be a senior. And that's when you really need to start cracking the whip and get good grades. I'm so scared that I won't get in. My whole life I've thoguht of myself as pretty smart. I always used to get good grades. I don't want my last two years to ruin the rest of my school year. It's just so scary to think about.

On the one hand, I'm totally stressed about my friends and all the ridiculous conflicts that are going on with them, but on the other hand, I really only have one more year that those are the biggest worries I'm going to have. I think I'm going to try and enjoy my life for as long as I can. God knows I could use some fun these days.

Wow, long time no post.

Well, it's been nearly three months since I've posted on this blog. Clearly this change thing isn't so easy :P
Actually, I am feeling like I've been having success in that area lately. I've been making new friends, getting closer to the people that make me happy, and getting further away from the people that make me feel like crap.
It's really quite refreshing.
Hm, since I last posted, I have:
1. got rid of those nasty partying habits. funnily enough, it happened during spring break, which is pretty much THE party time.
2. brought up my marks in both physics and bio, thank GOD.
3. started hanging out with pretty much the coolest person ever, she's my very own hollister :P
4. broke up with my boyfriend, got over my stupid anger, and then got back together with him. again, THANK GOD.
5. met said boyfriends parents, finally. scary scary scary, but really not as bad as i thought it would be.
6. gotten closer with my mum and dad, actually started to talk to them again. that's always a bonus.
7. become much more positive.. it was a long time coming, that's for sure.
8. got some AMAZING new shoes.. totally not relevant but I don't really care :P
8. last, but most definitely not least... I have finally begun to stand up to people when they do things that I really detest. I think it's quite a big step. Yay :)

Well.. Hopefully it won't be 3 more months before I post again, but who knows, high school is pretty crazy busy. I'll try and keep you updated. Thanks for reading!

Change is in the air.

As a high school student, change is quite common. Friends change, interests change, personalities change.. and I find it quite interesting that many students view this as a bad thing. Not me though. I like change. Well, I try to anyways.
Today was my fathers birthday, and at dinner we were discussing what mainstream is. I found it quite interesting. I don't consider myself to be too mainstream, I feel like I have different ideas than most people and that I dress differently and do different things. But stepping back and looking at it tonight.. I realized that I am soo alike to so many people that I know. And while that's not a bad thing, my new year's resolution (a little late i know) is to be uniquely maintream. I want to have my own ideas and do my own thing. This blog is going to be my documentation of that. Wish me luck! :)